My Little One: Justin James Wilcox

At just 37 weeks and 2 days, Justin James Wilcox was born at 1:09pm on July 17th, 2009. He was 5lbs 8oz and 18 inches long.

I was given Cervidil to soften my cervix at 9pm on July 16th and was induced at 6am on July 17th. Labor progressed quickly and I was given an epidural later that morning. A little after noon I started feeling it was time to push and we began to at 12:22pm. Then, our little boy made his way into the world at 1:09pm. AJ was amazing. He held one leg as a nurse held the other through each contraction. I was able to cut the umbilical cord. I also had the Dr show me the placenta and I touched the inside to see if it really was silky like is rumored. It is.

I don't know what his initial APGAR score was but they noticed he had trouble breathing, he would make little grunting noises. They quickly gave the baby to AJ and told him to, "bring him to Mom". He headed toward Karma, my mother-in-law, and all I could shout was, "No, Mom, Mom, Mom..." until he realized they meant me and turned around.

I got to hold Justin for a minute or two and then because of his breathing difficulty they took him to the NICU. AJ went with him. I couldn't go because my legs were still numb. It was all I could do to not just roll onto the floor and drag myself to the NICU. But after about 2 1/2 hours I was feeling enough again that my wonderful nurse wheeled me in to see him. My heart broke when I saw him on the pressured oxygen. I felt so helpless.

The pressured oxygen kind of inflates the lungs for him. They used it for a while and then took him off to see if he would breath on his own. He still struggled. So they put him back on pressured oxygen until they could give him a chemical called surfactant to help his lungs. Just before they gave him the surfactant AJ and his Dad gave Justin a blessing. It was the most heart wrenching and beautiful blessing I have heard. Heavenly Father promised that he would be healthy and strong. This reassurance brought so much peace and comfort.

After he was given surfactant he did much better. He was able to breath all through the night on his own. All the while I had been pumping and after a night pump I went in to see him around 4am. I was able to hold him. Later that morning I was able to breastfeed him for the first time.

He has continually progressed. Last night he was taken off his IV. And now all that he has on are little sensors to monitor his blood oxygen level and heart rate. Some blood was drawn on his birthday to test for infection and that has preliminarily just come back as negative. This means he will not have to stay on antibiotics.

He now has nothing keeping him in the NICU. The Dr will assess his condition just before we will be discharged around 1pm today and he may get to come home with us today.

***NEWS UPDATE! THE DR JUST CAME IN AND CLEARED JUSTIN TO COME HOME WITH US TODAY!***

Yesterday we had some visitors. Kate, Steve, Monica, and Johnny came by to visit their nephew. AJ took them into the NICU one by one while I took a much needed nap. Grandma and Grandpa Wilcox came by and got to hold him.

Then we got to have a much awaited event: the first bath! AJ video taped this whole event and I was able to be there too since I could now walk . He woke up and looked around. He did a funny chicken dance with his arms, they were kind of folded in and then he would wiggle or shake them so it looked like he was making wings of his arms trying to take off.

The last few days have been life altering. I have seen a new side of AJ. He has been such a strength and a support for me and Justin. I have fallen in love with my child and feel like I would brave anything for him. I am so proud of him. He is patient and faithful, he keeps trying through frustration. I have felt the fear of losing him and the peace and comfort from Heavenly Father when he promised us that Justin would be healthy and strong.

It's been a little hard to walk down the hall to the NICU and pass by the other rooms with mothers in there with their babies. I wanted my baby to be in my room with me, but then I think of all the little miracles that have taken place over the last couple days and remember that he will be coming home with me soon and I am filled with overwhelming gratitude that I have that opportunity.

To family and friends that have kept us in your prayers:
Thank you isn't enough but there aren't stronger words. I know that Heavenly Father hears our prayers. Thank you so much for your faith, support, and love.

Here are some of my favorite pictures. Enjoy!
By the way: Does he have red hair? No, :( But it is a beautiful warm honey, light brown. Perhaps it will turn red down the line.